Don’t Be That Person: What Not to Say When You See a Dog in a Stroller.
I live in the American South where the desire to stop and talk to a stranger is genetically encoded. It’s generational, just like the amount of sugar you need in your tea. You’ve been in Virginia for five generations? Well, that’s 5 tablespoons of sugar per glass. Stranger conversations are normally quick exchanges inquiring about the weather, commenting on a hat, or asking about the local football team. When I started taking my elderly dog to the park in a pet stroller, I discovered a whole new layer of this staple of southern living and it is worse than pineapple pizza with deep fried pickles on the side.
Belle is my little beagle who will be 17 years old in July 2021. Sweet, funny, and active, Belle has enjoyed every day of her life. Through our many years together she’s had a heart murmur, tumors removed, parasitic infection, pneumonia and PTLO surgery. That last event, when she was 13, put a metal plate in her little beagle knee. She walks okay, but as her age advanced, her ability to walk more than short distances ebbed away. She’s a tough little hound, though, and she loves, loves, loves to be in the park. So, I bought her a pet stroller and let the good times roll.
It’s been over a year since Belle and I started hitting the trails with her 4-paw drive, and I’m ready to hand out a life lesson, born from plenty of experience, on what you should not say when you see a dog in a stroller.
1. “What a lazy dog!”
I was walking on a pretty easy stretch of paved trail when a middle-aged woman and her husband jogged over to us. She pointed and motioned for her husband to see Belle in her stroller. Red-faced and sweating she pronounced her view at a volume somewhere between bullhorn and tornado siren.
Woman: What a lazy dog!
Me: You’re saying it wrong. It should be, “What a brave dog!’ Belle is almost 17 and mobility challenged but she loves the park so much she was willing to get in a vehicle with wheels, sit down, and let me push her around. It’s pretty awesome when you think about it.
In a beagle, 17 is roughly the equivalent of 120 human years old. How would you feel if I saw you walking along with your 120-year-old grandmother in a wheelchair and said, “Wow, what a lazy woman!”? It’s a little more than rude, it’s downright insulting.
2. “What’s wrong with your dog?”
There we were, soaking up sunshine on mild spring day after a long and dreadful winter when a man drew close and began to stare at Belle. She wagged her tail, letting him know she was happy and friendly. He looked at me as if he’d seen all the contents of Pandora’s box in the pattern on her doggy blanket.
Man: What’s wrong with your dog?
Me: Not a darn thing. She’s aging and can’t walk well, but she is enjoying the park.
There’s nothing “wrong” with Belle. In dogs, just as with people, aging isn’t a crisis that has to be managed or shunned, but a well-earned journey to be navigated until the end. When you see someone out with their pet on a pretty day, don’t fish for what isn’t perfect. Affirm what a wonderful moment it is to be enjoying life.
3. “My dog wishes he didn’t have to walk.”
We once passed a woman with a young, healthy German Shepherd happily prancing by his owner, ears up, eyes bright, looking every bit in charge of the park. Belle admired him was they approached and leaned over in her cart to catch a passing sniff.
Woman: My dog wishes he didn’t have to walk on this trail. He’d love to have a ride like yours.
Me: Belle’s just happy just to be here.
I thought for a moment of saying my dog would probably love to be able to walk this trail one more time, but I didn’t because it’s not true. Dogs are uniquely “in the moment” kind of creatures. They don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that one day they didn’t go to a park, that time they stepped in their bowl and got food all over the floor, or how they should have gone to law dog school. They are just where they are. That’s why they’re a lot happier than people.
Still, just as you wouldn’t tell a person in a wheelchair, “Wow, I’d love to be able to sit while I’m in line like you can,” you shouldn’t say this to a person whose elderly pet is in a stroller. It’s just wrong.
4. “You shouldn’t treat your dog like a baby.”
Yes, someone actually said that to me. I just looked at him with an open mouth stare. He continued to make eye contact and I discovered he wasn’t going to move, leave or blink until I either bowed to his mansplain or burst out in rapturous gratitude at this epiphany. Finally, I said, “Don’t worry. I treat Belle a lot better than I would a baby.” We left and it was his turn to stare.
Don’t worry. I don’t mistreat babies. Actually, I’ve never had a baby. I have a beagle, and I know the difference between the two. I’m pretty sure Belle does too. As for the man, well, you know what we say in the south — “Bless his heart.”
What should you say to a stranger with their dog in a stroller?
“Hello.”
“It’s a beautiful day.”
“I like your dog.”
“Where did you get that stroller? I have a dog who may need one.”
“Enjoy your walk.”
It’s also a scientific fact that you can actually walk in a park without talking to a stranger at all.
If you have a dog that’s aging, challenged, or needs a little help — don’t be afraid. Grab a pet stroller, remember these answers, and take your loved dog on a trail. Just remember, they don’t know how rude the other humans are being. They just enjoy the ride. Roll with that.
